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I read an article today about an anti-war protest that took place Monday in front of the White House. At the end of the article they considered “62 arrests and 23 others forcibly removed a success”…really? This is suppose to be a protest about the war in Afghanistan and that Americans think it’s time to call it quits and bring our troops home…by getting arrested? Ok, lets think this through….we’re going to teach our youth that in order to stop violence we create it. Oh I know they say they didn’t create violence, they merely chained themselves to the fence of the White House which is what led them to being arrested, but that’s called passive aggressive and last time I checked aggression wasn’t the opposite of violence…same demon, different mask.
I wonder what the troops in Afghanistan would say to those who got arrested on Monday and are trying to start the antiwar movement again. I wonder if they would pat them on the back and say thanks for your support, you’re really making us feel good or would they say regardless if you agree with the war or not we’re still over here fighting and being killed all because no human should have to live without freedom and freedom comes at a price…you my fellow American are not free because someone said war is wrong and chained themselves to a fence, you are free because someone fought for it and continues to fight for it. You are free because freedom is not free.
But we tend to forget that don’t we? We walk around this country free from gun fire, free from bombings, free from our women being raped daily by those in power, free from our children being suppressed…we walk around a country that the rest of the world is begging to be apart of. All because someone fought for it, demanded it, and continues to uphold it. I hear some saying, well it’s all heading to change and it won’t be that way for long….so the answer is to chain ourselves to the White House fence and then be put in jail for the tax payers to pay off your decisions? Since when is jail for those to make a political stance? I thought jail was for those that committed crimes and are a danger to society. Maybe I’m wrong.
Maybe, just maybe, instead of chaining yourself to a fence or whatever else form of protest is out there we should all stop and educate ourselves on exactly what is going on over there, why we are over there, and only THEN should we be allowed to voice our thoughts on the matter. Opinions are weapons and it’s time we recognize that. Words and actions go hand in hand people! Stop spitting out your opinion based on what your favorite news station reported, or what your neighbor said they heard, or what you THINK is going on. Stop it. Stop teaching our kids it’s ok to act like complete idiots…because that’s what we’re doing when we protest based on opinions.
Intelligent conversations get you much further than any protest every will. And for crying out loud stop thinking it’s a success to land your butt in jail when our kids are over there dying for another’s freedom!
Till next time....
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Sunday, October 4, 2009
His voice...His opinion
It is hard to know God's voice if we don't take the time to listen for it. A baby is in the womb for nine months, hearing the mothers voice for nine solid months. They say there is a special bond between a mother and her child, I believe that bond comes being connected for nine months to no one else but mother and child. We are created in God's image, that means we at some point in time were connected WITH God...even if you don't believe in God today, you were still connected to Him and I KNOW in your quiet moments you have a longing to feel him/hear Him.
Seeking advice is always good, who you seek advice from is what separates good from wise. But taking it one step further...learning to quiet yourself enough to hear His advice is true wisdom. I have been searching for some answers about my next step, in several different areas, and have been asking those in my life for their opinions and then one night I lay in bed and asked God what I'm to do when it suddenly became clear to me...why do I ask Him LAST? I start down the path because I feel God's nudging and then I suddenly start to question...is this really what God wants me to do or is what I want to do...so then I begin asking others for their opinion and before long I was very confused. Everyone gives their opinion out of love but also out of fears that drive their own life...maybe they have regrets and don't want you to experience them, maybe they have wounds and fear you'll be wounded, maybe they don't believe you can do it, maybe they don't believe God called you to do it...whatever it is it's based on fear and once again I found myself coming back to the Truth...fear is not of God.
In all honesty I seek others opinions mostly because I worry about what they think of me, of my parenting, of my womanhood...am I living up to the calling? So just as their advice is based on fear, my asking is equally based on fear.
So, once again I'm back to the beginning....listening to God's voice because He is my creator, He is the One I will follow...even if it doesn't make sense. How I listen to God's voice I will share with you in another post at another time....
Till next time...
Seeking advice is always good, who you seek advice from is what separates good from wise. But taking it one step further...learning to quiet yourself enough to hear His advice is true wisdom. I have been searching for some answers about my next step, in several different areas, and have been asking those in my life for their opinions and then one night I lay in bed and asked God what I'm to do when it suddenly became clear to me...why do I ask Him LAST? I start down the path because I feel God's nudging and then I suddenly start to question...is this really what God wants me to do or is what I want to do...so then I begin asking others for their opinion and before long I was very confused. Everyone gives their opinion out of love but also out of fears that drive their own life...maybe they have regrets and don't want you to experience them, maybe they have wounds and fear you'll be wounded, maybe they don't believe you can do it, maybe they don't believe God called you to do it...whatever it is it's based on fear and once again I found myself coming back to the Truth...fear is not of God.
In all honesty I seek others opinions mostly because I worry about what they think of me, of my parenting, of my womanhood...am I living up to the calling? So just as their advice is based on fear, my asking is equally based on fear.
So, once again I'm back to the beginning....listening to God's voice because He is my creator, He is the One I will follow...even if it doesn't make sense. How I listen to God's voice I will share with you in another post at another time....
Till next time...
Monday, September 7, 2009
shiney objects
I have known since I was 12 years old that I wanted to be a counselor, what I didn't know then was that it was a gift God had given to me. As I've grown over the years in maturity, faith, and wisdom I've come to realize how important it is to seek why you were created, what your purpose on this earth is and then stay steadfast on the course of developing the gifts and talents you were given. We all get them, they are part of what makes us unique; not everyone uses theirs or even realizes they have any. I've met many people who say they have nothing to offer, they have no talent or gift. I guess in some ways there was a time when I felt that way. But through reflection I realized that I felt that way because what I WANTED to do I wasn't good at and therefore felt I had nothing to offer. Gifts come naturally to us, it's something that you do and don't' even realize you're good at it. Talents are something that can be taught, but I believe there must be a little talent hidden within you or...well you sound like me when I sing Love Shack.
I have accomplished a goal I've had for 15 years. I've graduated from college. I can't even describe the feelings inside me as I walked across the stage to receive my diploma. That moment will forever stand out, but there was a reason I wanted to finish college (outside of the fact I needed too) I want to be a counselor and in order to do that I need a masters and well bachelors comes first. It's stepping stones to get to my goal of fulfilling who I feel God has created me to be. My life is no longer lived according to making others happy and I no longer make final decisions based on who it will make mad. I do however seek advice from those I trust and know they are Godly people, but in the end the decision is between God and myself. When I make major decisions with that foundation life always always always goes better than I even expected!
My purpose is to help others by sharing my story, listening to their story, and helping them find their purpose. My purpose is to get out of the way just enough for God's light to shine and to do that by not getting distracted by shiny objects. We have our own definition of shiny objects, I know mine and I know I must press forward regardless of them or others because I'm living for one purpose...God's, not others.
Till next time...
I have accomplished a goal I've had for 15 years. I've graduated from college. I can't even describe the feelings inside me as I walked across the stage to receive my diploma. That moment will forever stand out, but there was a reason I wanted to finish college (outside of the fact I needed too) I want to be a counselor and in order to do that I need a masters and well bachelors comes first. It's stepping stones to get to my goal of fulfilling who I feel God has created me to be. My life is no longer lived according to making others happy and I no longer make final decisions based on who it will make mad. I do however seek advice from those I trust and know they are Godly people, but in the end the decision is between God and myself. When I make major decisions with that foundation life always always always goes better than I even expected!
My purpose is to help others by sharing my story, listening to their story, and helping them find their purpose. My purpose is to get out of the way just enough for God's light to shine and to do that by not getting distracted by shiny objects. We have our own definition of shiny objects, I know mine and I know I must press forward regardless of them or others because I'm living for one purpose...God's, not others.
Till next time...
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
a question for God
There will be many questions I ask of God when I meet Him, after I take the time to feel what it's like to sit in His presence of course, but lets say that part is all over, I'm past the awe of it (again, let's just say) and we're walking around just chatting...I have a lot of questions for Him. Questions like why do you allow some people to be parents that have no business being parents? Not that I'm some great Mom, it's more that there are people out there who have no clue what it means to be a true parent, who don't want to be a parent, they do it simply because we as society make them feel "it's the right thing to do". I guess when you're 41 years old it looks sort of odd to suddenly walk from your children's lives, but then are you really in it to begin with? Oh you get them the standard every other weekend,but that's only because it's a court order; if you were getting them because you longed to be with them you'd get them more than that. You'd see them every single moment you could, you'd call them to simply say hi and you'd most certainly pay your child support because you'd understand that the support is for the well being of your CHILD.
So, yes I shall ask God why some are allowed to become parents when they don't deserve it nor do they want it.
I don't feel I am raising kids, I've always looked at it as I'm raising future adults. My job as a parent is to teach them how to become productive adults of this world, to leave something behind, not always take but give, and to understand that God is at the center of it all. My job is also to fight for them, regardless of who I'm fighting against. I'm truly a mother bear when it comes to my kids, I will fly across the table so fast I don't feel the table if the need arises. It's my job.
Nothing makes me more angry than to hear of a parent not taking care of their child. You do the right thing because it's no longer about you. When you become a mom/dad you are no longer first, no longer the center of the universe; when you give life to another human being who's sole survival depends on you...then step up to the plate and be a man, do the right thing. It's just that simple.
Someone asked me one time to describe parenting in one word and I said "draining". If you do it right, if you are engaged and in it with both feet you're drained at the end of the day...and you should be! We worry about what you eat, who your friends are, will you get hurt, will I have to hurt the one who hurt you, will you succeed in life right away, will you learn from the mistakes around you or make them too, will you endure your first heartache, will you stay out of trouble, will you be a responsible adult, will you be a leader, will you follow God's voice...I could keep going. The point is a parent never gets a day off, never sleeps a deep sleep because we listen for a cry (even when your 14), never makes enough money to give you all you want. A parent never feels they did all correctly and always wishes they could do it again. A parent loves in ways they never knew existed and cries now when someone says I love you daddy/mommy on a commercial. It's a huge responsibility and I just don't get why some are allowed to have it.
So, yes I shall ask God why some are allowed to become parents when they don't deserve it nor do they want it.
I don't feel I am raising kids, I've always looked at it as I'm raising future adults. My job as a parent is to teach them how to become productive adults of this world, to leave something behind, not always take but give, and to understand that God is at the center of it all. My job is also to fight for them, regardless of who I'm fighting against. I'm truly a mother bear when it comes to my kids, I will fly across the table so fast I don't feel the table if the need arises. It's my job.
Nothing makes me more angry than to hear of a parent not taking care of their child. You do the right thing because it's no longer about you. When you become a mom/dad you are no longer first, no longer the center of the universe; when you give life to another human being who's sole survival depends on you...then step up to the plate and be a man, do the right thing. It's just that simple.
Someone asked me one time to describe parenting in one word and I said "draining". If you do it right, if you are engaged and in it with both feet you're drained at the end of the day...and you should be! We worry about what you eat, who your friends are, will you get hurt, will I have to hurt the one who hurt you, will you succeed in life right away, will you learn from the mistakes around you or make them too, will you endure your first heartache, will you stay out of trouble, will you be a responsible adult, will you be a leader, will you follow God's voice...I could keep going. The point is a parent never gets a day off, never sleeps a deep sleep because we listen for a cry (even when your 14), never makes enough money to give you all you want. A parent never feels they did all correctly and always wishes they could do it again. A parent loves in ways they never knew existed and cries now when someone says I love you daddy/mommy on a commercial. It's a huge responsibility and I just don't get why some are allowed to have it.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
In the blink of an eye
Sometimes my writing just flows without me putting much thought into it at all and other times I can't seem to find the words. I've needed to post this since Saturday only because if you are able to read it you are considered my friend and I know you'd want to know, but I just needed some time. I couldn't seem to bring myself to write it down. Not sure how's it's going to "flow" but....
Saturday I worked at the radio station, I so enjoy that job, but this day was different. I got a call at 2:15 from a hospital in Michigan telling me my daughter, Kaitlyn, had been involved in a drunk driving accident.
Let me pause here and tell you she's FINE.....
I have never been in a situation where my child was hurt and I wasn't there. I've never been five hours away and have someone say to me "we need permission that if the ct scan comes back and she has internal bleeding we need to operate without having to wait for you to get here." 5 hours. I was 5 hours away. That's all that was going through my head...FIVE HOURS!! I heard Kaity's voice and literally the room started to spin. My sweet Kaitybug. I told her I would come right away and get her, I heard her try and gain composure as she said "Mom, I'm fine." And she is. Not a scratch, broken bone, nothing. She's fine.
I cried most of the day Saturday and everytime I hear her voice I hang up with tears coming down my face. The police said if they had been in a different vehicle we would be having a different conversation. More tears. More spinning.
Sometimes being a Christian so very hard and then....."we would be having a different conversation".....in the blink of an eye.....we are not lucky, we are protected.
Till next time...
Saturday I worked at the radio station, I so enjoy that job, but this day was different. I got a call at 2:15 from a hospital in Michigan telling me my daughter, Kaitlyn, had been involved in a drunk driving accident.
Let me pause here and tell you she's FINE.....
I have never been in a situation where my child was hurt and I wasn't there. I've never been five hours away and have someone say to me "we need permission that if the ct scan comes back and she has internal bleeding we need to operate without having to wait for you to get here." 5 hours. I was 5 hours away. That's all that was going through my head...FIVE HOURS!! I heard Kaity's voice and literally the room started to spin. My sweet Kaitybug. I told her I would come right away and get her, I heard her try and gain composure as she said "Mom, I'm fine." And she is. Not a scratch, broken bone, nothing. She's fine.
I cried most of the day Saturday and everytime I hear her voice I hang up with tears coming down my face. The police said if they had been in a different vehicle we would be having a different conversation. More tears. More spinning.
Sometimes being a Christian so very hard and then....."we would be having a different conversation".....in the blink of an eye.....we are not lucky, we are protected.
Till next time...
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Today is Father's Day so it only seems fiting to write about fathers. I went to Fairmount last night with my kids; we spent the night at my dad's house and then this morning we went to church with Dad and Allison. It was a great day!
If you are around me for very long you know two facts about me, I take parenting very seriously (some will tell you I'm too hard on them and myself for that matter) and I have two Dad's. I grew up without my parents being together, but from that another bond formed and gave me another Dad. I too am now divorced and experience what it's like to have my kids leave to go visit the other parent, it's a void that you can only understand if you've experienced it. I've also been a step-parent and now understand what it's like to love a child that is not your own, to struggle with finding your place in this new family. Being a parent is hard, being a single parent is very hard, and being a step parent in many ways tops it all.
I have several guys in my life who are dad's, some are better at it than others. I have heard their struggles, seen their tears, and I know without a doubt they love their kids very very much. I have often said it only takes sperm to be a father...being a dad is so much more. I'm not sure why God allows some of us to be parents and others never experience what it's like to hear them say I love you for the first time. I'm not sure why some take parenting seriously and others are still too wraped up in their own personal satisfaction to be a parent at all. What I am sure of...
We only get one shot at this life, there is no plan B. Our children will not stay young forever and one day, when they are grown, we will have to look them in the eye and account for why we raised them the way we did. Today, after church, on our way back to my dad's it was just Tyler and I in the car and this is what I said "Bud, when you grow up and have kids of your own remember that you are not raising kids, you are raising future adults. Think about what you want them to think of you when they are grown and looking back on their childhood, what do you want them to say about you? Your job is to raise them, to teach them, to guide them. But above all, your job is to be there...to be a Dad" I believe that with all my heart. If we do nothing else right while on this earth I pray that we get that....step up to the plate and be a parent, a true parent!
If you are not a dad on this Father's Day know this...they are still watching you. Just because they don't call you dad, you influence them...I promise. Our job is to raise the next generation to be better than ours...all of us have that responsibility.
Happy Fathers Day Dad's...I love you.
If you are around me for very long you know two facts about me, I take parenting very seriously (some will tell you I'm too hard on them and myself for that matter) and I have two Dad's. I grew up without my parents being together, but from that another bond formed and gave me another Dad. I too am now divorced and experience what it's like to have my kids leave to go visit the other parent, it's a void that you can only understand if you've experienced it. I've also been a step-parent and now understand what it's like to love a child that is not your own, to struggle with finding your place in this new family. Being a parent is hard, being a single parent is very hard, and being a step parent in many ways tops it all.
I have several guys in my life who are dad's, some are better at it than others. I have heard their struggles, seen their tears, and I know without a doubt they love their kids very very much. I have often said it only takes sperm to be a father...being a dad is so much more. I'm not sure why God allows some of us to be parents and others never experience what it's like to hear them say I love you for the first time. I'm not sure why some take parenting seriously and others are still too wraped up in their own personal satisfaction to be a parent at all. What I am sure of...
We only get one shot at this life, there is no plan B. Our children will not stay young forever and one day, when they are grown, we will have to look them in the eye and account for why we raised them the way we did. Today, after church, on our way back to my dad's it was just Tyler and I in the car and this is what I said "Bud, when you grow up and have kids of your own remember that you are not raising kids, you are raising future adults. Think about what you want them to think of you when they are grown and looking back on their childhood, what do you want them to say about you? Your job is to raise them, to teach them, to guide them. But above all, your job is to be there...to be a Dad" I believe that with all my heart. If we do nothing else right while on this earth I pray that we get that....step up to the plate and be a parent, a true parent!
If you are not a dad on this Father's Day know this...they are still watching you. Just because they don't call you dad, you influence them...I promise. Our job is to raise the next generation to be better than ours...all of us have that responsibility.
Happy Fathers Day Dad's...I love you.
Friday, June 12, 2009
I Long
The cool thing about writing is it can mean one thing to the writer and something else to the reader...I write about love, but at times it's not the way most think for I know I am loved and I am absolutely content in that, I write about love because love is beautiful to write about.
So, here's a poem I wrote over a year ago...
To rush home at the end of the day simply because you are waiting….
To feel overwhelmed when your breath blows across my skin…
To wait with anticipation as you have me close my eyes…
I long.
To know I am safe, loved, whole…
To know I am accepted just I am, want to be, should be…
To know you need me in ways you need no other…
I long.
The sun rises and I see you face…
The sun sets and I see your face…
Tomorrow comes simply to see your face…
I long.
I have wondered this land. In search of perfect love. I have tasted honey on the lips of lovers in the silence and I have tasted pain in the screams of tears. I need more than I care to admit, I am softer than I’ll ever admit, and at the dawn of a new day I will try so hard to not walk away. Life can be full of trials, valleys really, and from the safety of my own skin I long to see the sky. Take my hand, lead me to light, and kiss my forehead as we say goodnight.
I long.
Till next time....
So, here's a poem I wrote over a year ago...
To rush home at the end of the day simply because you are waiting….
To feel overwhelmed when your breath blows across my skin…
To wait with anticipation as you have me close my eyes…
I long.
To know I am safe, loved, whole…
To know I am accepted just I am, want to be, should be…
To know you need me in ways you need no other…
I long.
The sun rises and I see you face…
The sun sets and I see your face…
Tomorrow comes simply to see your face…
I long.
I have wondered this land. In search of perfect love. I have tasted honey on the lips of lovers in the silence and I have tasted pain in the screams of tears. I need more than I care to admit, I am softer than I’ll ever admit, and at the dawn of a new day I will try so hard to not walk away. Life can be full of trials, valleys really, and from the safety of my own skin I long to see the sky. Take my hand, lead me to light, and kiss my forehead as we say goodnight.
I long.
Till next time....
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