Hurting Me Hurting You

It's so easy to get upset with someone when they hurt us. It's so easy to lash back at them when they wound us with their words or actions. It's so easy to be angry instead of doing the work to be better.

"Do what is right, not what is easy." That's a phrase I have said countless times over the years to my children, it's a phrase I believe deeply in and yet didn't understand until well into adulthood. It's a phrase that is far from comfortable, far from natural and certainly far from what society teaches us. It's the exact opposite of "Old Carla."

The other day someone said something to me and my feelings were instantly hurt. In reflecting back on that moment I realized that my instant reaction wasn't to lash out, to say "well, YOU..." nor was my instant reaction to turn and run. My instant reaction was to stay quiet and say a quick prayer of "God, help me."  While that person was spewing pain, I was able to remain calm and get us both through the moment with less wounding instead of more wounding...which is what would have happened if I had responded the way I used too, the way a part of me still wanted too.

When we hear things like "there is power in the name of Jesus" and "God changes us from the inside out" we are often quick to judge and quick to doubt. What kind of power? You haven't really changed all that much!  That's typically our heart's reaction. 

However... 

The power comes in those moments that we show strength, honor, dignity, maturity, and self control. The power is when we are given advice by our friends to basically bite back and yet we have a whisper inside us saying, "don't do that"....and we listen to the whisper. The power is when we can reflect and see growth.

Each time you are hurt, each time someone wounds you and you choose to not act on that wound but rather act out of the love in your heart THAT is the point of Romans 12:2 "Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds."

It's one decision at a time, friends. Choose this time to follow the whisper, not the shout. Join me in allowing God to change us, to make us better; after all, hurting you because you hurt me leads to only more hurt.

Yahweh Shalom

"I just want some peace!"  How many times have we yelled that or at the very least thought that? Peace seems to be the universal unobtainable goal and yet we cry out for it through tears of exhaustion and feelings of being overwhelmed. How each person defines peace appears to be the only separation found in the cry.

We want peace from crying toddlers, peace from abusive spouses, peace from work deadlines, peace from crazy drivers, peace from bill collectors, peace peace peace JUST GIVE ME PEACE!

Yahweh Shalom. God IS peace.

This week I haven't felt much peace. Truth be told I haven't felt much peace in a while....at least not the peace I wanted. When I was crying out to God GIVE ME PEACE I meant the way I wanted it, through the circumstances I wanted, in the time I wanted. I was basically being the crying toddler to my heavenly Father.

If trials in life have taught me anything it's this--get on your knees and listen. And I did just that, multiple times this week, multiple times during this season of my crying out for peace.

Yahweh Shalom. GOD is peace.

Circumstances remain the same, people remain the same, and in the moment the light at the end of the tunnel can seem so so far away. We don't "feel" peace. While I was on my knees, listening with a desperate ear for God to ease my fears I kept hearing "I give you peace."  So, I got my bible out and looked up that phrase and found myself in the book of Judges and came upon this verse in chapter 6, "It's all right, the Lord replied. Do not be afraid. You will not die. And Gideon built an alter to the Lord there and named it "The LORD is peace." which in Hebrew is Yahweh Shalom.

God is PEACE.

Not a whole lot has happened externally to bring "peace" into my life. In fact, the cat puked on my laptop the other day and caught it on fire. Seriously. As a writer that's the worst vision to ever lay eyes upon. Peace was not something I felt. But God...but God has been faithful in reminding me that my peace lays in Him, my trust is in Him, and in Him I need not fear.

GOD IS PEACE.

So, if you're feeling overwhelmed with life, beaten down by yet another day's to do list, and tired of being tired I encourage you to get on your knees and just listen because God ALWAYS responds if with nothing more than "I give you peace." which, for the record, is all that's needed.

How donations work

VM has been around for 2 years now. Two whole years! I'm impressed by God's faithfulness, He told me He would provide and He has. He also told me I'd live on donations to the ministry. I have. So many have been generous in giving to VM, in listening to the prompting from God and then following through on that prompting, even when it seemed ridiculous.

But I know some have not donated because clarity hasn't come as to what exactly you're donating too. So, let me attempt to explain VM, even if you don't donate, you'll know what it is and why God created it.

There is a darkness that looms inside of us, we each have it until we call it to the light. That darkness is our secrets. We all have secrets. We all have things in our past that we fear others will find out. We all, at some point, have secrets we don't even acknowledge before God out of fear of what He'll say or do.

My focus has become helping us begin to say out loud what those secrets are, shed light on the darkness inside us, and reach fully out to God. If we talk about it, we aren't victim to it. If we ask God to help us, we will experience healing.

God has gifted me with communication skills that come out in the form or public speaking, one-on-one talking, writing and teaching. I would also say I have the gift of making others cry, but I don't think that's a real "gift". We get real very fast. That is solely the power of the Holy Spirit.

So, what you're donating to is allowing this ministry to be my full time job. And because it's my full time job I'm flexible in when I can meet clients for life coaching, I have time to work on my talks and next writing project (a book on dating as a Christian Mom). Working for VM full time also means I can be free in the evenings to be mom, and as a single mom multiple jobs just doesn't cut it. There is one other aspect to your donations and that is the money allows me to not HAVE to charge clients for life coaching. There's a lot of people that don't get help simply because they don't have enough money to pay the bills AND buy food, let alone pay for someone like me. I was one of those people and it was the donations of others to pay for me that got me help...I would even say saved my life.

Please prayerfully consider donating monthly to VM. This link will take you to my paypal account. Any and all amounts count, so whether it's $5 or $500 God will multiple it to become what's needed in order to make VM successful so we are no longer living under the weight of our secrets.

For tax information--I have filed the paperwork to receive a 501(c)3 which, once approved, will give me the tax information necessary for your donations to be tax deductible. Any donations made until this comes will still be able to be applied--all donations are tax deductible.

If you have any further questions I'm here to chat!

Thanks for allowing God to use you so others can be helped!! See how God works?! We're all in it together.

Carla

To the huggers

Sometimes it's hard for me to write because I want to write with a particular person in mind. My way of being passive-aggressive and venting I suppose. But tonight I'm going to just come right out with it...this is dedicated to every person that has ever felt the need to hug me.

It's been almost five years. Five whole years since my life changed literally in a moment. Five years since I said for the first time in my life, "Please don't hug me today." Five years since I have been inside a man's home that I do not fully know.

I am a person who's love language is touch. I crave it almost as much as I crave hearing I love you from my kids. When someone hugs me I feel as if breath has been given back to me. I feel full again. I remember how empty I became from lack of touch.

I also remember the line of people waiting to hug me after I spoke at my church, sharing my secret. One after another reached their arms out and embraced me, the good hug that lingers. And each time I felt God saying to me "and I hug you again and I hug you again..."

Many times I talk about why I love being a Christian, but tonight I can't help but remember that line and all the hugs that have followed over the years. If you've hugged me know that God was working through you in that moment to heal me just a little more, "and I hug you again"...thanks for hugging me.