Day 9. Peace is Everywhere

As I laid in bed last night thinking about a million different things, the one thought that kept coming to the forefront was "It's everywhere."  Peace can be easily overlooked, especially when we live during a time that is whispering promises of unrest. Peace can be so easily overlooked. I'm not sure when I started working on my perspective, I suppose it was a gradual shift over time until it just became part of me--kinda like a habit, which makes me laugh because a habit implies doing the same thing over and over and well, I'm not that good at that unless mistakes count. However, I am good at keeping perspective, seeking perspective, talking about perspective. I am good at that.

This morning I woke with a sore throat. First my back, now my throat. Seriously. Anyway, I woke with a sore throat so instead of making coffee, I decided to make "throat coat" tea with some thieves. Still half asleep I pulled the tea bag out and discovered the word "peace" right there starring back at me. And in that split second it all came full circle.

It's hard to serve a God you cannot see. It's hard to trust a Man you have never looked in the eye. It's hard to believe God is everywhere when hurt and fear seem to be everywhere. The number one reason I agreed to participate in 25 Days for Peace was because of perspective. I knew we ALL needed a good dose of perspective right about now--we needed to SEE God, EXPERIENCE God, BELIEVE in peace. I had no idea the depth of that happening to me, just 9 days in.

So, there it is, starring us right in the face. Peace. It's all around us. GOD is all around us. If we'll just look. If we'll just shift our perspective, open our hearts, and seek. God is wanting to speak to you...are you listening? And before you say yes He's just not talking to me, let me give you a bit of wisdom someone once gave to me--when we ask God to speak to us, we must be open to how HE chooses to speak, not how we'd like Him too. The trick is to just be open, be ready, and believe.

Peace is everywhere. Even in the very real need of a sore throat.

Day 7. The Invitation

Today I’ve been laying around due to a sore back/neck so I took the opportunity to listen to a sermon series that came highly recommended—a series called The New Rules to Dating, Sex and Love by Andy Stanley. I was told about it a few days ago, but to be honest I wasn’t really all that thrilled to look it up; I’m a tad sour in the dating department. Dating just seems to be a big fat FAIL for me and frankly I’ve about had all I can take on the “how to’s” in dating. But, God has a way of getting what He wants and for me it often means some form of crippling till I cave—I’m stubborn like that. 

5 minutes 32 seconds. That’s how long it took me to say “Shamoly! This is amazing!”  From the very beginning something inside me stood at attention, something inside me said “Listen! This is for you!” And by the end of the series I had tears streaming down and running into the huge smile on my face as I could see how it’s all coming together. Occasionally, we can SEE God working and I can tell you with utmost certainty He’s working in very out loud ways lately in my life, bringing it all to surface today. And to think I could have missed it if it hadn’t been for that too quick of movement I made yesterday morning! Maybe getting older isn’t a “problem” after all! Ok, that last sentence is too much. I know. 

Dating. Sex. Love. I have talked countless hours to countless people about those three words, those three topics. I have a LOT of writing about them, I have said a LOT of prayers about them, and I have longed for all 3 of them to leave my life forever. Yes, I’ve contemplated becoming a nun—except, well…

A few years ago I studied for a whole year the word commitment. And today, it came full circle. At one point, in the series, Andy says “If you can’t uphold a commitment before you get married, what makes you think you’ll uphold it when you do get married?” I had to hit pause because I was literally weeping. My mind was flooded with so many moments that I had said one thing and done another, so many times I have said to God “I’m sorry, please forgive me” to only turn around and do that very thing again. I was sorry, I was. But I didn’t repent. I didn’t turn in the opposite direction and flee from that thing which I regretted, I just felt bad that I had done it—again. 

During the sermon on Sunday Pastor Bill said that when God calls us to do something, we should see it as an invitation to something better…as I sat there thinking about what God has asked me to do time and time again, I knew exactly what my invitation was and today, it smacked me in the face—you know, just in case I didn’t get it! Can it be that God’s invitation to something better starts off by saying “No more”?  Today, while laying in pain on the floor I saw it all come together and I knew it’s time to make a decision, it’s time to make a commitment and accept His invitation. As I said the words out loud “I accept your invitation” I felt a wave of peace wash over me and I knew in that moment I’d just taken another step towards the transformation of my life. 

Last November I felt this same invitation. I accepted…and then I went back on my word. And for the past year I’ve felt the twinge of regret—I was to take a year off of dating, I fell short. I tried to explain it away, but a commitment is a commitment and I failed to honor mine. God is gracious and is giving me another chance. Someday I will get married and when that day comes I will be able to say December 7, 2015 was the day I committed my life to becoming the person you are looking for, to becoming the person I know God made me to be and that includes my dating decisions—starting with a full year of no dating. 

I’ve never done this, ever.  A whole year of not a single date. I don’t know what to expect but I do know this much, peace comes when we align ourselves with God, with God’s will, and when we accept His invitation and commit our lives to Him. I want all of that FAR MORE than I want to be with any man, so tonight I share this moment with you for one reason—what is that thing you’re supposed to do, that commitment you’re supposed to make to line yourself up with God and receive His amazing peace?  

“O Jerusalem, may there be peace within your walls and prosperity in your palaces.” Psalm 122:7  His invitation is always to something better!

Yahweh Shalom

"I just want some peace!"  How many times have we yelled that or at the very least thought that? Peace seems to be the universal unobtainable goal and yet we cry out for it through tears of exhaustion and feelings of being overwhelmed. How each person defines peace appears to be the only separation found in the cry.

We want peace from crying toddlers, peace from abusive spouses, peace from work deadlines, peace from crazy drivers, peace from bill collectors, peace peace peace JUST GIVE ME PEACE!

Yahweh Shalom. God IS peace.

This week I haven't felt much peace. Truth be told I haven't felt much peace in a while....at least not the peace I wanted. When I was crying out to God GIVE ME PEACE I meant the way I wanted it, through the circumstances I wanted, in the time I wanted. I was basically being the crying toddler to my heavenly Father.

If trials in life have taught me anything it's this--get on your knees and listen. And I did just that, multiple times this week, multiple times during this season of my crying out for peace.

Yahweh Shalom. GOD is peace.

Circumstances remain the same, people remain the same, and in the moment the light at the end of the tunnel can seem so so far away. We don't "feel" peace. While I was on my knees, listening with a desperate ear for God to ease my fears I kept hearing "I give you peace."  So, I got my bible out and looked up that phrase and found myself in the book of Judges and came upon this verse in chapter 6, "It's all right, the Lord replied. Do not be afraid. You will not die. And Gideon built an alter to the Lord there and named it "The LORD is peace." which in Hebrew is Yahweh Shalom.

God is PEACE.

Not a whole lot has happened externally to bring "peace" into my life. In fact, the cat puked on my laptop the other day and caught it on fire. Seriously. As a writer that's the worst vision to ever lay eyes upon. Peace was not something I felt. But God...but God has been faithful in reminding me that my peace lays in Him, my trust is in Him, and in Him I need not fear.

GOD IS PEACE.

So, if you're feeling overwhelmed with life, beaten down by yet another day's to do list, and tired of being tired I encourage you to get on your knees and just listen because God ALWAYS responds if with nothing more than "I give you peace." which, for the record, is all that's needed.

My first "fast"

It was a challenge given to me by a very good friend. I'm sure she didn't see it as a challenge, I'm sure she just saw it as a simple suggestion. But when I read the words "you should fast about this" I felt everything come to a grinding hault. Fast?!

I don't fast. Ever.

Two reasons. One, I like food too much and two (and most importantly I might add) I'm hypoglycemic so I always assumed I couldn't fast. Going without food leads to one thing for me--passing out. So, anytime fasting came up I always took a pass and said "I'll just pray".

But I had come to the end of my rope, I had no idea what more to do and I was filled with confusion and anger. I had thrown my hands up shouting "I'm doing it my way!" That's when my friend stepped in, hearing the bitterness in my words, and suggested I seek God's guidance via fasting. Almost without thinking I said "ok" and immediately felt better. I wasn't sure how to go about this fasting, but I knew I had done all I could and "doing it my way" wasn't a true option because frankly my way is rarely a good way.

So, yesterday I fasted all day. I journaled, I read scripture, I prayed, I listened to music. I sought God through the stomach growls, shaky hands, and headaches.

A lot of unearthing was done yesterday. Things I needed to ask forgiveness from God on, things I needed to realize were or or weren't good, things that are hindering me and hindering God from working through me. All of this is good. But I still didn't have an "answer" nor did I have peace inside.

So, today I kept searching. I kept seeking. And I remained confident God would answer. And He did. No, I didn't HEAR Him, relax I haven't started hearing voices. He answered through various conversations, through my reading and journaling and praying. Two days of non-stop seeking lead to me telling my friend "peace has arrived".

I don't have a "do this" kind of answer and I don't have peace because anything has changed. I do have a shift in my perspective, a promise of the sovereignty of God and a confidence that the answer will be revealed when the time is right. I have peace in my spirit, not my situation. What to do in the meantime? Continue seeking with the intensity the last 24 hours has created. Because when you seek God, God always responds.

I learned that fasting is actually an amazing gift we have as Christians. I didn't pass out, though I did get pretty darn hungry. I am really looking forward to the next time I fast! Apparently I love God MORE than food!!! Yay!

Thanks to my friend, Abby, for encouraging me to stretch beyond what I've "always done".