It's been, what seems like, 100 years since I've written anything of substance to post for eyes to read. Truth be told, I haven't done any writing since I entered my time of silence. I'm not sure I'm ready to begin speaking out loud again, but something in me is stirring and for me that means write. So. I'm writing.
I entered this time off because every time I prayed I felt God whispering to me "just be quiet." So, I stepped out of anything that I deemed to be out loud...no more public speaking, no more writing, no more leading of any kind. I even got a "normal" non-churchy type job. And things started to fall into place. And things fell out of place.
One major lesson I have had to learn as a Christian is that life is never ALL good nor is it ALL bad. On one hand, it appears I'm simply taking some time off and God is still blessing us. On the other hand, it appears I am still enduring heartache and trials and God is still testing me. Life is both good and bad. But throughout the last three months I've taken hold of letting myself not do any kind of "deep thinking" and I've just simply lived.
Going through the motions of life can be good for us, it's what gives us a sense of routine and normalcy. Going through the motions can also be dangerous as we are not required to be fully engaged, which means we are not growing we are merely surviving.
My time of silence has been necessary. My heart and mind were not in sink with one another and it was taking a toll on my spirit and body. My attitude was poor, my hope was fading, and my problems were becoming bigger than my God. Yes, I needed to shut my mouth and just be so that God could finally be heard.
Are you struggling right now to hear God? Are you just going through the motions with no thought involved? Are you wondering how things will ever change for you? Be encouraged by me my friend, be encouraged to know that silence is truly golden, God wants you to hear Him more than you want to hear Him, and nothing is more important than to obey what you know you are being told.
I'm not fully ready to emerge and be back to where I was. I'm ok with that. I will move as I'm prompted, writing only when I feel led too and speaking only when I know He has something to say. And, I take great comfort in knowing that if for some reason I get ahead of Him again, He'll simply tell me to be quiet...and I will. Will you?