Friday, May 11, 2012

Taking naps

What do you do when you're stressed? What's the first thing you turn to when life gets that "out of control" feeling? Anything short of turning to God isn't good for us. Whatever it is that you turn to, that's the thing you must over come. For me...sleeping. I LOVE to take naps. Why? Because I stop thinking. I'm snuggled in my bed, the heaviness of the blankets on top of me, the coolness of the pillow under my head...I love sleeping.

This week I've been doing a lot of self reflection. That can be good. It is good. But it's also grounds for needing to escape sleep. Right now, in this very moment, I want to take a nap. The battle within myself is this:
Just an hour, what will that hurt? you can't nap right now, you have work to do.
But I'm so sleepy and I would feel much better if I just took a nap. stop being lazy.
FINE! the truth is I'm tired of thinking about all of this and I'm tired of reading and I'm tired of putting in effort. Please just let me shut down!

Whatever we are focusing on is what screams the loudest. When you spend your whole day saying "I'm not going to eat that cake that's in the kitchen" what are you doing? Focusing on the cake in the kitchen. And then what happens? You cave, eat the cake then spend the rest of the evening feeling guilty and telling yourself tomorrow you'll do way better.

Some will say "You just have to fight it. Have stronger will power". Sheer will power. I hate that phrase. It's deceiving and sets you up to feel like a failure. When you go on "sheer will power" you will eventually get tired and then you'll go completely overboard on whatever it is you're willing against. Because we're not designed to do anything on "sheer will power"! If we were we wouldn't need Jesus. I certainly need Jesus...on my own, well I take lots of naps.

Right now, in this very moment stop trying to do it on your own or working up enough will power. Right now admit your weakness (that thing you turn to) and then...go do something else, like, um, listen to Christian music, or go for a walk, or write a poem, or call a friend or--gasp--pray and tell God how much you need Him.

I'm refusing to take a nap today. Not because I'm strong. But because I want to be strong in Jesus more than I want to be brain dead in my bed.

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