Did you count the cost?

"Being a Christian is the best decision I have ever made and the hardest thing I have ever done." I've said that phrase OFTEN. Because it is. It just is. Oh, I've heard people say it's not suppose to be hard, that I must not have the true Jesus. I've also been told that if I really had the Holy Spirit inside me I wouldn't lose my temper or say bad words or have the desire to do things that are deemed unholy. To that I say...have you read Luke 14:27-28?

"And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it."

When I first became a Christian, meaning more than just believing in God and more than just going to church on Sundays, I didn't take the time to count the cost. I didn't step back and thoughtfully take up my cross nor did I ponder how my life would be changed. I just sorta dove in head first and hoped for the best. That was five years ago. 

I know beyond any doubt that I am more in love with God than I am with any person on this earth. I choose God daily over anyone or anything. I am used by God, loved by God and sought after by God. Of this I am confident. However my relationship with God is not one void of bumps, pot holes, and angry words. My Christian walk is hard to say the least. Why? Because daily I fight against myself, my desires, my wants, my "but it feels good", I fight against control, greed, jealousy, and the simple I WANT IT. My Christian walk is hard simply because I'm still Carla. 

Receiving forgiveness is just the first step. That's how you get in to heaven but it's the "in the meantime" that we cannot forget. Our day to day lives matter just as much, dare I say even more...for it's the day to day life that Jesus is referring to when he tells us to take up our cross and to count the cost. Assess your day to day life my friend, can people see Jesus in you? Are you hitting the target more than not? And...are you letting your "off" days overshadow by self talk of failure and "you must not really have Jesus in your heart"?