The silence of women

“For God is not a God of disorder, but of peace…” 1 Corinthians 14:33

I’m currently studying 1 Corinthians. Towards the end of chapter 14 we find verse 33 that reads “For God is not a God of disorder, but of peace...” and I smiled at the promise that holds for us. Then I went on to read the very next verse “Women should be silent during the church meetings…” I initially laughed and thought to myself “I don’t think Paul would have liked me!” But then, I sat in the moment and began to write—this isn’t writing about women’s rights, this is writing about women’s hearts.

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Over the years I have had thousands of conversations with women and the theme echoed is the same—“When will I feel whole?” Bookstore shelves are lined with titles about this topic. If you take off the lenses of judgment as you watch the news or scroll through your Facebook news feed, you’ll see moment after moment of women desperately trying to fit in, feel accepted and know they belong, you’ll see glimpses into the vulnerable part of their heart that is whispering “Will this encounter make me feel whole?”

The longing we have deep within comes in the form of angry outbursts about exs, it comes in the form of statements like “I don’t know who you think you’re messing with!” and it comes in the form of sex and secrecy and doing anything to dull the ache because time after time we feel let down when we realize “No, this hasn’t made me feel whole either.” Women are crawling into bed, lonely and waking up lonely. Women of today are of little difference than the women of Corinth.

Sadly.

So, why did Paul write something so moving as to remind us “God is a God of peace” only to follow it by telling women to be quiet? In all my time of studying scripture I’ve never found anything that would suggest in my heart that Paul saw women as less than—what I think Paul was saying to the women of Corinth, and to women of 2014 if I can be so bold as to add that, is this “Women are the heartbeat of the human race, it was from a woman’s womb that Jesus Christ entered, it was from a woman’s lips that His resurrection was told of, and it was the tears of a woman that cleansed the feet of the only Man that can ever save us. Women bear an awesome place in time and with that comes heavy responsibility.

When I am my most centered with God, when I am making wise choices, maintaining healthy boundaries and staying focused I can honestly tell you the words that leave my mouth are intensely wiser than when I’m living in the moment of “do what feels good.”  It is in the latter moments that I have shallow conversations, I don’t give good advice, and I go to bed at night with regret of the day’s events. It is in this latter stage that I am just like the women of Corinth and I must admit I need to be silent because the outside is not matching the inside.   

Women are naturally social. Women are naturally opinioned.  Corinth women were, present day women are. So, as you read scripture and you come across verses like 1 Corinthians 14: 34 take time to seek God’s full intention before jumping to your own defensive conclusions. Trust me, as a woman who’s gift is speaking (yes I’m calling it a gift) I would be the very last to promote anything that I felt kept women under thumb. 

What I do promote though is God’s wisdom, God’s love, and God’s design. Women are SO valuable to God—so, keep reading, keep growing, and learn from the women before us…stop seeking to be whole via anything outside of the very One who made you so that when you do speak it is of great value to those who hear you!