Empty Happy

I saw an ad on msn today that had tips on boosting your mood and it hit me…I’m always looking for quick ways to feel better, look better, do better but nothing ever fully works…why? Because I’m looking to empty moments of happiness. Empty. Sure they may work in the moment and they may even last a little longer than the moment, but eventually they fade away and I’m searching once again for the “better”. God’s been doing a lot of work on me lately in the area of going to everything but Him first. I call my friends. I email. I text. I cry. I whine. I read a book about it. I search the internet for answers. Then, after all areas are exhausted, then I turn to Him. Why do I do that? After all this time I know better. Yet that’s exactly what I do. Don't get me wrong, I pray and ask Him to clarify or answer of give...but I don't think that's way we are to pray...Paul never prayed like that. Paul can be a hard act to follow.

My son told me last night in the car that his goal is to have the “no matter what” attitude we talked about in church Sunday…we’ll follow God, believe in God, turn to God no matter what..all the time. In that moment I felt God’s presence. In that moment I felt not empty. For the past several weeks I’ve wrestled over a major decision in my life, basically over what is my calling, and I keep getting no response from God…nothing. But maybe that in its self is my response right now. Maybe I was getting ahead of God, eager to run ahead like a child wanting to run ahead of its parent when entering the toy store. I can see the store in front of us, I can see what it looks like, I'm so excited; but we’re not there yet…God is walking much slower than I was.

Instead of looking for foods for energy, quotes to make me smile, ideas for having more time in the day….I’m going to try something new, when those needs arise and I feel the urge to look around I will stop, quiet my heart, and be filled by God’s time, God’s love, God’s will….now to just remember this when the moment hits!