Today

Since February I've be preparing for today. Dreading this day actually and that made me sad because today is my birthday. I've always loved birthdays and celebrate for several days leading up to the big day, but this year was going to be different. This year my birthday was suppose to be filled with things that are far from cause for celebration.

I've been praying about this day for two months, asking for God's will to prevail and deeply longing for His guidance to get me through the day. I've asked countless people to pray for this day. Understanding that on this day something else trumps my birthday.

Now let me just tell you that I turn 35 today...a milestone in one's life. It's a big deal if I do say so myself. To some it's not a good moment, but to me it's awesome. Life for me just keeps getting better, my relationships grow deeper and I feel better in my skin as I grow older. Leading up to today I should be living it up, preparing for a fantastic day, instead I've been preparing for something else.

Then the call came.

What I've been needing to prepare for is no longer happening; at least not today, it'll happen some other day. At first total frustration took over and I kept saying "I just want it to be over!" but this morning as I lay in my bed pondering the fact that it's my birthday and I'm now officially 35 all I could think was look how God answers prayers.

This day has turned out to be wonderful, spending it with my mom shopping and being able to just focus on it being my birthday and now to end the day spending it with my children and my Charlie Brown. "On this day God thought enough of you to create you"...words spoken by the one man that has truly and unconditionally loved me, words I heard as I prepared for the day, words that God used to remind me that yes he hears how important this day is to me...because it reminds me of my value in Him.

So happy birthday to me! Thank you God for allowing me this moment and bring on the next 35 years baby!