Teen Mom (Part 2)

Years ago someone asked me to describe parenting in one word. Exhausting. When our kids are little we're spending our days chasing after them, keeping them safe (often from themselves), teaching them, guiding them, playing with them. Many nights I fell into bed wondering if I would have enough energy to get up in the morning. I was exhausted.

My exhaustion was more than physical though. I felt I needed to prove to the world that I was going to be a good mom even though I'd gotten pregnant at 18. I also carried a secret, well I thought it was a secret...turns out it was pretty obvious to everyone around me. My secret? I had no idea who I was or where I was going. I was trying desperately to just survive. I was mentally exhausted.

I've been a mom for over 16 years. Between 2000 and 2005 we moved 9 times, I had 6 jobs and...well, more than one man was in our life. Please hear me clearly, when you become a teen mom you feel the effects of it well past your teen years. I may no longer be trying to prove I'm a good mom (I am) and I know who I am now but getting here was a very bumpy ride.

Today I would still use the same word to describe parenting. If you do it right...if you're 100% involved, totally committed you will be exhausted. But today that exhaustion is the good kind, the natural kind. I'm not proving anything, I'm simply being their Mom. Any parent can arrive at this point, teen mom or not, it's just a lot harder when you start at 18.