Teen Mom (Part 1)

I met him when I was a junior in high school. Our first date was prom. He was a senior. I remember when I found out he ran every night after school through his addition I just had to take up the same; I didn't see it as stalking, more just like melting as he'd pass by me. He was SO good looking. I felt like the most important woman in the world when he asked me to prom.

One year later I became pregnant. Our relationship wasn't the greatest but we didn't care, we loved each other and I was determined to not let my child grow up like I did, in a divorced home. We married when our son was 13 months old. Two months later we became pregnant again. We didn't care care that we were broke or that we fought all the time or even the fact that our son was still so young, we had a family and that's what mattered.

Today I am 35 years old. I have three kids. My first marriage ended after four years; I married again and had my third child but that marriage ended after only two years. I have done the very thing I swore I would never do, I have put my children through the childhood I experienced of going back and forth between homes because our home broke in half...twice.

I didn't become a Christian until the age of 27 and frankly until then I didn't understand what all the hype was about on not having sex before marriage. I also didn't fully understand the ramifications of divorce or why God says you shouldn't. Up to that point, honestly even after I started going to church, I lived for me. If I wanted it I took it. If it felt good I did it. I always justified it somehow, but the motive was always the same...it pleased ME.

For the past 16 years we have struggled financially, emotionally. I was trying to find who I was while having to be for someone else. When others were off to college creating memories I was changing dirty diapers and trying to cook something edible. Sure I was creating memories but most of them revolved around tears. I simply was not ready to be a mother or a wife...I was just desperate for someone to love me.

I know some that have become teen moms and are doing very well. Life is a little more difficult for them, but overall they have a good handle on things. But I know more teen moms that have walked the same path as me. So, I've decided to write a few pieces about my life as a teen mom, a divorced mom, a 35 year old mom, a Christian mom solely because I'm hoping those that aren't yet moms will take my story to heart and those that already are will know they are not alone and regardless of their circumstance (happy or miserable) they have a friend that gets it.

See you back here tomorrow for Part 2.