My first "fast"

It was a challenge given to me by a very good friend. I'm sure she didn't see it as a challenge, I'm sure she just saw it as a simple suggestion. But when I read the words "you should fast about this" I felt everything come to a grinding hault. Fast?!

I don't fast. Ever.

Two reasons. One, I like food too much and two (and most importantly I might add) I'm hypoglycemic so I always assumed I couldn't fast. Going without food leads to one thing for me--passing out. So, anytime fasting came up I always took a pass and said "I'll just pray".

But I had come to the end of my rope, I had no idea what more to do and I was filled with confusion and anger. I had thrown my hands up shouting "I'm doing it my way!" That's when my friend stepped in, hearing the bitterness in my words, and suggested I seek God's guidance via fasting. Almost without thinking I said "ok" and immediately felt better. I wasn't sure how to go about this fasting, but I knew I had done all I could and "doing it my way" wasn't a true option because frankly my way is rarely a good way.

So, yesterday I fasted all day. I journaled, I read scripture, I prayed, I listened to music. I sought God through the stomach growls, shaky hands, and headaches.

A lot of unearthing was done yesterday. Things I needed to ask forgiveness from God on, things I needed to realize were or or weren't good, things that are hindering me and hindering God from working through me. All of this is good. But I still didn't have an "answer" nor did I have peace inside.

So, today I kept searching. I kept seeking. And I remained confident God would answer. And He did. No, I didn't HEAR Him, relax I haven't started hearing voices. He answered through various conversations, through my reading and journaling and praying. Two days of non-stop seeking lead to me telling my friend "peace has arrived".

I don't have a "do this" kind of answer and I don't have peace because anything has changed. I do have a shift in my perspective, a promise of the sovereignty of God and a confidence that the answer will be revealed when the time is right. I have peace in my spirit, not my situation. What to do in the meantime? Continue seeking with the intensity the last 24 hours has created. Because when you seek God, God always responds.

I learned that fasting is actually an amazing gift we have as Christians. I didn't pass out, though I did get pretty darn hungry. I am really looking forward to the next time I fast! Apparently I love God MORE than food!!! Yay!

Thanks to my friend, Abby, for encouraging me to stretch beyond what I've "always done".