The ending of a love story...the continuing of the best love story

I committed my life to God and in that commitment I asked Him to use me; I share my journey with you for one reason--so you can see God's love above the story of life.

I have been on way too many dates, given my heart away when I should have kept it, and felt deep sadness over the ending of a relationship. As a result, I stayed very guarded for a very long time and then...I met Tom. I truly felt the timing was right, the story was right, we were right.  Maybe it was all right, but as a wise friend once told me "Even when everything is done right, that's no guarantee it's going to last."

I have waited to share this part of my journey until now for many reasons, but mainly because I needed to get through some of it first. I'm ready to tell now, not because I am looking for a response from you (I know you are sad for me)--I'm telling you because I want you to see that there IS a guarantee!

Tom and I have ended our relationship together. It involved tears and heartache and many sleepless nights. BUT it also involved God and HIS love and HIS comfort and HIS commitment.



The entire summer has been draining, starting with getting sick. It's been battle after battle ending with me sitting on the floor whispering, "I don't even have the energy to raise a white flag of surrender."  I haven't been that exhausted in years. As I crawled into bed that night a text came through from an old friend, telling me she didn't know what was going on in my life but felt so deeply compelled to pray for me and to let me know she's praying on my behalf. This type of thing happened for several days in a row.

When we hear of verses that talk about "in my weakness He is strong" we can get caught up in the concept of our weakness. I spent most of August focusing on me and all that had been happening to me. But as I sat on that floor, whispering those words, I was clinging by the tips of my fingers to a God I believed in and refused to turn from. I was begging for more faith, more strength, and more God. I had no clue how it was going to happen, but I knew it would. I trusted him even in my heartache of losing the man I loved. 

Friend, this isn't a story of another romance ending. This is a story of a relationship coming to an end but the romance between God and his people strengthening. I wrote in my journal last night, "Thank you for loving me enough to pull me through this this situation, thank you for loving me enough to remind me all men can leave me but YOU never will, thank you for loving me enough to be a jealous God who is teaching me what it means to keep you at the center of all that I am, thank you for loving me enough to make me, thank you for loving me enough to shine in my weakness so that I can find strength."

I cling to God because my friend is right, there are no guarantees in a relationship. You can love him, you can do your very best, and he can still choose to walk away. I cling to God because I desperately need a guarantee and God is the only way I'll get it.