The Journey

The trip is over. All that planning, all the meetings, all the fundraising, all the fears...done. We are home and life is getting back to normal.

This time last week I was preparing to speak at the women's event in Tipitopa, Nicaragua. It was our third day of the mission trip and we were running at full speed, having done several children's events and had begun food distribution. The heat was smothering at times, the bugs seemed to multiply and there was a voice whispering to me "you don't belong here, why did you even come".

As the time for me to speak drew near, I found myself at the back of the stage for two reasons. 1) there was an ever so slight breeze and 2) I needed to gain perspective. As I paced back and forth I fell into my rhythm and whispered repeatedly "more of You, less of me."  One by one the ladies on my team came to the stage and hugged me, stating words of encouragement...words I so desperately needed to hear, to drown out the other voice and to be reminded it's not up to me, I'm just the vessel.

For a very long time I didn't like to be hugged. My church likes to hug. Nicaraguans like to hug. I'm so thankful that today I like to receive hugs...hugs have grown to be very comforting to me...a sign of healing. The Nicaraguan ladies sat in chairs, patiently waiting for me to take center stage, and they witnessed hug after hug and knew by my face I was being washed in Grace.

Nicaragua is a place filled with deep need, poverty in its truest form. But what I saw that night, what I saw one week ago in this hour was not poverty but women with stories, women with broken hearts, full hearts, and God's grace covered every square inch of the windowless church.

Our mission trip is over, true. But THE mission is far from over. Every person on this Earth deserves to be heard, to be told they matter, to feel God through hugs and words of encouragement. The journey, for this girl, is just beginning.

Closet Christians

2 Chronicles 15:14-15 "They shouted out their oath of loyalty to the LORD with trumpets blaring and horns sounding. All were happy about this covenant, for they had entered into it with all their hearts. Eagerly they sought after God, and they found him. And the LORD gave them rest from their enemies on every side."


All three of my children have been embarrassed by me shouting for them during some event they were participating in. All three have glared at me with eyes that said, "Please, I'm begging you, be quiet." I'm loud, out spoken, and unafraid to speak my mind or shout my loyalty. What about you? Do you shout your loyalty? If you're a sports fan I'm going to say yes. If you've been in the military I'm going to say yes. If you're a parent I'm going to say yes. We aren't afraid to shout our loyalty for lots of things, but do we Christians shout it for God?

I have only been seeking God for 10 years and when I first began I knew NOTHING about the Bible and I was pretty sure all Christians were shipped to Africa to be a missionary and live a life of poverty. Seriously. Over the last 10 years I have not only grown in bible knowledge, I have gone overseas for a mission trip and I have walked away from the security of a pay check. I have also experienced my darkest hours and committed my biggest regrets in the last 10 years. I love God so much and I really suck it most of the time.
 
I have been known to talk about Jesus in the frozen food section at Walmart, at the bar, with the mailman, in public restrooms, and in the elevator. I talk about Jesus at work, at home, with friends, with strangers, and alone in my car I talk to Jesus out loud. I am a Christian wherever I go and I talk about God throughout my day, not because I'm now this awesome person who has it all together and can say "you should be like me" but because God is worth it.

Ask yourself, what do you talk about most? What are you not afraid to say? 

Right now you're probably thinking one of two thoughts: "Good for you, I'm not that out going." or "You shouldn't be boasting about that, after all you make LOTS of poor choices and should probably not be talking about God at all because you're spreading the wrong idea of Jesus; especially considering you mentioned THE BAR." I've heard both those statements more than once. I am the first to admit I am so desperately unworthy of God's love let alone His willingness to use me. So, what about you? Do you talk openly about God? I mean, are you quick to share how God has influenced your life? Has God influenced your life? Or do you remain quiet outside of church doors so that you can boast "at least I'm not like her, running around talking about God while still sinning"?

The point of the cross is being missed, friends, and it's time we step up our game. It's time we start shouting and stop believing the lie Satan is selling. Satan wants us to stay quiet, he wants us to believe we're not worthy of talking about God because we are such screw-ups. Satan wants us to compare sins and in the end agree to remain closet Christians.

Sin is sin. Period. Jesus was nailed to that cross for one reason...victory over sin, ALL sin, for ALL people, for ALL of time so that we can be united with God. I sin all the time (which is a topic for another post), I am completely unworthy of God's love, let alone being used by Him, and yet He chooses to do so. He chose to send His son to die for me, and that's worth shouting! I'm far from where I should be when it comes to how I live my life, but I'm far from where I was because of His grace and that's worth shouting!

I'm a person who is better now than I was, loved more than I have ever been, and confident that when I die I will receive the best hug ever. And I can say "you should feel what I feel." I'm sharing with people because I want others to have the same opportunity I've had, the opportunity to truly feel love. Being a closet Christian serves no one.

The people were shouting their loyalty, they were eagerly seeking after God, and they gave Him their whole heart. And they were people, just like you and me...full of mistakes, bruised with sin, and unworthy of being saved. And yet...they found Him and He gave them rest.

Don't be a closet Christian any longer. Don't be ashamed to love God out loud. Shout loudly and eagerly seek after God! And please stop worrying about what others will think of you!

2 Chronicles 15:14-15 "They shouted out their oath of loyalty to the LORD with trumpets blaring and horns sounding. All were happy about this covenant, for they had entered into it with all their hearts. Eagerly they sought after God, and they found him. And the LORD gave them rest from their enemies on every side."

 

Have Honor

1 Samuel 16:7 “The LORD doesn’t make decisions the way you do! People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at a person’s thoughts and intentions.”  

America, at her core, has honor in her veins. Any military branch has a code about honor. Any proud American talks about honoring the country. Honor runs deep in American heritage and honor runs deep in Christianity. We are told to honor our parents, honor our spouse, honor our God. So what does it mean anyway? What does HONOR really mean?  I asked for people to share their thoughts on what honor means and I got some really good responses! I definitely believe we can give a definition of honor but when you walk away from an encounter, do you feel you expressed honor? 

When you are angry in the moment and react not so kindly to those around you, are you expressing honor? 

When you see something in the nation not moving in the direction the country was founded on and you just post about it on Facebook are you expressing honor? 

When you complain to your friends about your husband/wife, are you expressing honor? 

When you feel that tug inside of you to do something (like offer to pray for a friend) and you don't, is that expressing honor? 

 

1 Samuel 16:7 reminds us that God is always looking inward, at our thoughts and intentions. In the questions I posed, they all show a reflection of our heart in the moment. We know the definition of honor, but do we EXPRESS honor? 

Thoughts and intentions. That's where it all matters according to God. That's where honor is made or destroyed. 

If you want people to treat you with respect, to value your opinions, if you want people to honor you in a way that makes you FEEL honored  then be that person. Be the reflection you'd like to see in others. Be kind when you'd like to be a bear, find a way to stand up for your country in a way that is productive, turn to God for guidance on your spouse instead of the first person that will "side with you", listen to the tug and get out of your comfort zone. 

Think about what honor means to you and then express it!

Give credit where credit is due

The idea of this blog came to me this morning as I was getting ready for work. Several instances raced through my mind and I smiled and thought "yep, that's a great blog idea...I should text it to myself so I won't forget" and then I kept getting ready and didn't text it to myself. Time passed and guess what? I forgot the idea.

It was SO frustrating and honestly it's all I could think about, WHAT WAS THE IDEA????

I finally text my good friend, lamenting about this only to discover she has the same struggle...gets a good idea but doesn't have the time to write in that moment only to realize later the good idea has escaped, when she does have the time to write.

Suddenly it hit me! And then I laughed...because the blog idea was the problem I was facing! HA!

When I first became a Christian I wasn't really sure what the role of the Holy Spirit was, it was just part of the deal. Then, one day in counseling this conversation happened:

Me: I can't remember what I wanted to tell you today.
Dr: That's ok, we will trust it to be recalled.
About half way through the session I blurted out: I remember!...Whew I'm so glad I remembered!
Dr: You didn't remember, Carla. The Holy Spirit brought it to your mind. Give credit where credit is due.

John 15:5 "...apart from Me you can do nothing." NOTHING.

When I can't find my keys I ask for the Holy Spirit to help. When I have forgotten something I ask for the Holy Spirit to recall it for me. When I couldn't remember this blog idea I asked for the Holy Spirit to bring it to mind again. And then, when I do find the keys or remember what I'd forgotten I quickly say "thank you" because it's important to give credit where credit is due.

waiting on heaven

Throughout the Bible we come across verbiage that says our inheritance is waiting for us in heaven. I find such encouragement in this thought, but if I'm going to be honest, I often forget the concept and I get caught up in the "now".

Right now we're snowed in. Right now is the sixth day of a new year. Right now many of my dreams have yet to come true. Right now is pretty important to me; I'm willing to bet right now is pretty important to you as well. You have you're own history in the making, you're own things you're waiting on, you're on moment that matters. Right now matters.

So how do we, as Christians, balance right now with heaven?

How do we keep in front of us the beautiful gift that's waiting on us? The promise from the One who made us. How do remember in our every day lives that what we have waiting on us in heaven is worth waiting on?

I could say things like read your bible daily, pray daily, go to church weekly. Those things are all good, necessary even. But when I pause and ask that question to myself, to my own soul, those things just don't satisfy the depth of the question. How do I balance then and now? HOW do I wait on heaven?

I suppose it's doing this very thing. Pondering the notion. So, today, if you're like us and you're snowed in I encourage you to take the opportunity presented to you in the form of snow and ponder.

Here's to waiting on heaven...right now.

Know what you know

1 Corinthians 10:13: "God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it”

Years ago a pastor told me "I don't believe the phrase 'God doesn't give you more than you can handle' I think He DOES give us more than we can handle so that we turn to Him." Now, in theory that sounds really good and really spiritual. But it doesn't line up with God's Word.

And this realization that I made some time after my conversation with the pastor was what set me out on this frenzy of explaining to people why we must all know scripture for our selves so we can separate someone's opinion from what is really said in the Bible. 

I'm not saying you need to have lots of scripture memorized, I'm not even saying you need to know off the top of your head "Oh, that is found in X". Biblegateway.com does wonders in these areas. What I AM saying is you should be familiar enough with the Bible (more than a few random verses) so that when you hear something you can know if it's Truth or opinion or a combination of the two.

As the new year approaches many resolutions will be made, few will be kept. That's just a fact of the American life. My challenge to you is this: set out this year to become more familiar with scripture. If you feel inadequate to carry conversations about concepts taught in the bible then CHANGE that! Study Christianity...especially if it's what you claim as your identity.

A New You

"Since God chose you to be the holy people whom he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." Colossians 3:12

If ever there was a verse I needed to memorize it's this one. For several reasons. All little girls dream of being chosen, of having a man sweep her off her feet and shout to the world "I choose THIS girl to be my bride!" And, frankly, I need to be clothed in tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience WAY more than I am now. Yes, I need to memorize this verse for sure.

When I first started going to church I knew nothing about the Bible, or God for that matter. I didn't know Christian songs, not even old-school hymns. I didn't know how to pray, who to pray too (the whole Trinity thing is very confusing) and I didn't know if I really wanted to pray. What I did know--I was a woman scorned and far from believing Colossians 3:12.

My life had not become what I envisioned as a child. Most days I felt rejected, unlovable, and not worthy of breath. I had such harshness to me, because if I let that wall down I feared I would crumble and, as the rhyme goes, never be put back together again. But even beyond that fear was the fear I'd never be chosen by a man who would truly love me the way I longed to be loved.

But God.

I remember the first time I came across Colossians 3:12. It stopped me cold, my eyes couldn't move beyond the words "God chose you". If you look in my bible today you'll see that I have circled those three words. God. Chose. me.

Really?

On my own, when left to my own free will, I don't do very well, "Old Carla", as I call her, comes out to play. Old Carla is equivalent to B.C.--you know, before Christ, Old Testament, before Grace entered the room. Old Carla is the exact opposite of mercy and kindness and humility and gentleness and patience. When left to my own free will, when living outside the will of God, I am ugly.

But God.

Throughout my life I can see evidence of God calling out to me, I can see his hand woven deep within the countless wrong turn decisions and I can see his blessing in the middle of my deepest happiness. Yes, throughout my life, long before I answered to his call, I was fighting him but God was not backing down.

"God chose you."  There it was, in the bible, starring me in the face. God had chosen me. You have to understand, I didn't get to the book of Colossians until I'd been a Christian for sometime. So, by the time I read it I knew it was for even Carla, the girl who had made a total mess of her life.

And that's how I became a new creation. That's why I have an "Old Carla" now. Because I not only allowed the beginning of that verse to resonate with me, I went on and claimed the rest of the verse...and the verses around it, including the end of verse 15 "And always be thankful."

Today I strive to express my thankfulness out loud every day. I strive to be kind, to show mercy, be humble and gentle and yes, even patient. Today I no longer ache for a man to chose me (though I look forward to the day I get married to a man that is my best friend); no, today I am whole inside because I have already been chosen and I can't think of anything more worthy of thanksgiving.

It's so good to be New Carla. I pray that when you read in your bible "God chose you" that you will be taken on your own journey of becoming a New You.