Starting Over

I came across writing I did last year and it made me realize just how strong I'd become over the last several years...and how quickly I'd forgotten that. I had clarity. I had contentment. I had peace. I had direction.

Today I'm still feeling numb from everything. He text me last night asking for his stuff back. I snapped. I had to explain to my seven year old why he didn't show up to her basketball game and whistle for her. I had to watch tears stream down my 12 year old's face as I told her I ended the relationship. I watched my son fill with anger because he'd given Kevin another chance even though he didn't want to. Together we cried. It crushed my heart.

I don't miss him at all. I have loved that man for nearly 10 years and for the first time ever I feel no love for him, I am empty. It's a weird feeling to have cause I've always loved him, no matter what was going on with us. I've always believed in us and knew that we'd be together forever. I just believed it. Today it's all gone and my heart is empty.

So, I shall start to rebuild only this time I have something I didn't have before...I have the proof of knowing I'll not only survive I will thrive. I am not alone. I have wonderful friends and family and I have a God that simply and completely adores me.



Till next time....