It’s all a matter of perspective…

When I was in high school, I lost four friends in a period of seven months to auto accidents. Each one seemed to get closer to home, our friendship was deeper. That was 18 years ago and I find myself still having moments of thinking about each of them. Just the other day I was thinking about turning 34 and all that I have experienced and suddenly I thought “Jenny has never gotten to, her parents aren’t able to see the woman in her” and started to cry. I miss her, 18 years later.

I write a lot about friendships, love, connections. I guess because it’s the core of who I am. I’m not the kind of person who can go long periods of time without touch, without people. I’m not the kind of person that can truly shut my heart down…though many times I’d like to. I write about these things because I’ve had to learn a lot the hard way, I’ve had to learn a lot due to someone else’s decisions, and I’ve had to learn a lot because I long for more. It’s not a bad thing, none of it…it’s just the road my life has traveled.

When I had a conversation with a friend about the various stories that make up who I am today I could see the pain on his face. I could see that he wished he’d been there to some how spare me from those stories, but as I reminded him…my life today totally rocks and I wouldn’t change a thing! Ok, maybe some things I would change…

I would change:
Hanging out with my friends more instead of chasing boys
Talking to my mom instead of thinking she knew nothing
Being brave enough to ask him out instead of fading into the background

I can’t go back and start my life over again, but I most certainly can decide where my next step will be placed. I don’t want to be turning 64 and saying I wish I’d….I want to be turning 64 and saying hey remember when….So, I won’t shut my heart off just because I’ve been hurt and I’ll continue live a life that rocks if no other reason than Jenny can’t and I miss her deeply.


Till next time...