Be

Tonight I was faced with it again...am I enough? Me, just as I am, all that I bring to the table and all that I don't...am I enough? It seems to be a theme in my life, one that I'd really like to get rid of yet one I'm thinking won't ever go away. Ever.

In the book of James, God says I chose you...so at our very core we want to know we're enough, we want to know we've been chosen. I have. I know He's chosen me. I rest in that...and I would be lying if I said that was all I needed, if I didn't need more. I would be lying if I said I don't need to know the love of a man.

Vulnerability...another theme in my life. Tonight I feel completely vulnerable. I'm sitting here, waiting. Waiting on the answer. Waiting on God. Waiting on him. To decide if I'm enough. Oh I know logically it's not like that, but the heart in me whispers oh but it is, even if it's just a little.

I want to rest in knowing God is in control, I want to rest in knowing it'll all work out for good and in the end I'll be grateful for it...I do know all that. That's truth. Feeling says otherwise. Feeling says this hurts, deeply. Feeling says it's going to hurt for a long time. Feeling says it's going to end..cause it always does.

I will be still, in this moment. I will not run. I will not get ahead of God. I will rest in this moment of being vulnerable, waiting and I will walk in truth not feeling. And I will know that regardless of the choices that are made, my worth is in Him and that alone makes me enough.