No labels

I now work at a place I never ever thought I would, doing something I swore I'd no longer do. It's funny how life takes turns you don't see coming when you stop trying to do all the controlling.

In the past few days I've had basically the same conversation with multiple people...all about this very idea. I think for the longest time people were under the notion that you work the same job till you retire, regardless of how you feel about your job. Today that idea has changed, maybe not because we want it to, but rather because when you lose/quit your job you have no choice but to start thinking about what else will you do with your life.

I didn't work for two years while finishing school. It was an interesting and scary time for me. Scary in many ways but the biggest for me was having to depend on others. I hate that feeling...I don't want to "need" someone else. I dated a guy several years ago that wanted to come over and help me do something to which I said I don't need you to do that, I'm fully able to do it on my own. His reply "It's a good thing to make someone feel needed Carla." I'm still working on that.

Standing at the edge of the meadow, able to walk in any direction..that's completely overwhelming. When someone says what do you do for a living and you have no reply...that's completely embarrassing. Until you realize what a gift it is to be in that position.

What you do is not who you are. How much you earn is not what you're worth. And those two discoveries are the two that have changed my core more than anything else that has happened to me. I had to let go of our society's idea of what I should be doing, how much I should be making, what direction to take my life as a single mom. I had to simply let it go because I had no choice.

What I do is not who I am, but I wouldn't have ever considered it if I hadn't had the "time off" to discover who I am. So to those who still freak out when they think of someone not currently employed...understand their journey is different than yours, but not worse, just different. To those who are jobless...enjoy this moment for the gift that is, a gift to truly find you without the labels.