1Peter 2:19

1Peter 2:19 ...you are a chosen people. You are a kingdom of priests, God's holy nation, His very own possession. This is so you can show others the goodness of God, for He called you out of the darkness into His wonderful light.

Yesterday, November 15, 2010 at 4pm the very first board meeting for Vulnerability Ministries was held. Six people gathered around the table with me, discussing what exactly is the ministry, what exactly does God have in mind for VM? There was a moment though that I looked around the table, listening to them try to reflect what they feel my heart is and I truly wanted to cry. I've been crying a lot lately, for various reasons, but these tears were tears of joy, relief, and disbelief. It all started with a letter, actually it all started with God waking me in the middle of the night telling me to write the letter. I remember that night as if it happened last night and here we are, five months later, forming a Board of Directors!

For the most part I am saying "Me? Really God? You want ME to do this?" And then I come across scripture like in 1Peter, so you can show others the goodness of God...call you out of the darkness...and I'm reminded of why He's using me. I am the very last person who should be starting a ministry, especially at this point in my life. But I am. And God clearly reminds me it's not about me, it's not about my comfort, and it's certainly not about making others feel comfortable. It is though about learning to make God the center of our life, our true Healer. It is about finding comfort through admitting the wounds that lay beneath the surface. It is about being real, seeing the beauty in being broken. It is about being vulnerable...in a good way. It is what God has asked me to do.

Intellectually I am capable of starting a ministry, of understanding the business side, of doing all that. I am capable of standing on a stage and being totally vulnerable in sharing my own life, my own wounds. I am also desperate for God to use me in ways that bring Him the praise. So, when I say things like really me? God says only so you can show others My goodness, only so together we can bring them out of the darkness you once knew so well.

We all have feelings of inadequacy, we all wonder why God loves us even a tenth let alone fully. We all have times of knowing we royally screwed up and we most certainly all have doubt in our decisions. And that's exactly why 1Peter 2:19 totally rocks. Read it. Think about it. You are a chosen people. Just camp on those five words for awhile...chosen. Vulnerability Ministries was chosen...oh how that makes me smile.