I know, But...

I loved him. I wanted it to work. I thought that if I loved him enough, prayed hard enough, things would change...he would change. I knew in my heart that wouldn't happen and yet I still held on to the "I know, but...it could happen".

We hear the stories...one's like Billy Graham who for years wasn't even a Christian and then became this amazing man of God. We meet people that talk about the power of prayer, to never give up hope, to always believe in others. And in our hearts we just don't want to let go of the idea that the one we love just might never become what we think they can become.

Where's the line? When do we walk away? How do we know we've done all we can and it's ok to move on? Are we not trusting in God if we walk away?

Codependent. Enabling. Unhealthy. Boundaries.

Those are words we don't often use in the Christian world. We need to. We need to understand that Christ did not intend for us to lose who we are in the process of trying to "save" someone else. Sacrificing all that you are over love...isn't love. More importantly, whether or not someone else decides to finally "get it" and straighten their life out is between them and God; you might love that person more than you've ever loved anyone, but at the end of the day your love won't ever be enough. It's not suppose to be.

I've finally made peace with the idea he may never change, but more importantly I've made peace with the idea that he might change and I won't be around to enjoy it. For me, that was the part I didn't want to accept; that he just might change and then someone else would be there to enjoy. How is that fair?

I've spent a lot of time learning what God means by the word love. The conclusion I've arrived at is sometimes because I love you I have to walk away...and that's ok.