In the meantime

Waiting. It's not my strong suit. I don't know that I've ever been good at it. I just simply loath waiting.

And yet the bible is filled of "wait". Why? Why is waiting so important? And what are we supposed to do "in the meantime"?

I tend to start out great, saying how much I trust in God to provide, I know His timing is best, I'm in no hurry, I'm going to enjoy the moment I'm in...blah blah blah.

And then...

I start to second guess myself, I wonder if I heard God correctly, I wonder if He hears me correctly, I wonder if He answered me and I missed it, I wonder if He ignores me.

And then...

I start to get ticked. I wonder what is God doing anyway? I get tired of hearing "his timing" cause honestly I begin to wonder if His clock is broke. I cry. I talk to friends about how tired I am of waiting. I start asking for people to pray, hoping they'll get through to Him since I'm obviously not. I cry more. I complain.

And then...

I start to give up. I begin to think about changing courses. I sigh and figure He's said no so just move on. I begin to believe the lies floating in my head. I doubt.

My "in the meantime" isn't very pretty huh? I would venture to say it's that way for most of us. Maybe that's what Paul was talking about when he said that he does the very things he doesn't want to do? I don't want to spend my time waiting like that, I don't want to begin with trust and end with doubt and yet it happens. Often.

So, why do we have so much "in the meantime"? Why does God seem to take forever before revealing the answer to us? I don't have the answer to that, wish I did...the closest thing I have is this: the journey I go through each time causes me to draw a little closer to God and God shines a little brighter.

Maybe, just maybe, the whole waiting on God thing isn't about time but rather about how we are acting during that time, what we are saying during that time, who we are seeking during that time. Maybe "in the meantime" is a point of reflection for us and a point of grace for Him.

Either way, my prayer is that my "in the meantime" is filled with more trust and less doubt...that's my prayer for you too!