The last day

God and I have been fighting, still. Well I think we're starting to fight less lately and now we've moved to that stage of the marriage where an agreement hasn't been made, no party has said "ok", so we're just sitting here letting it all soak in. Ok, I'm sitting here letting it all soak in, He's just waiting patiently on me.

I know it makes some people uncomfortable when I talk about fighting with God, arguing with God. I've even read a book that said it's a sin to argue with God. Honestly I don't really care if what I do bothers others, what I care about is having the deepest relationship possible with God and for me that involves a hashing out of some things every now and then....it means I need to be gut level honest with Him because after all He already knows I'm angry right? Be honest. Be who you are. Just. Be. Honest.

Today is the last day of the year, a symbol of an ending and a hope of a beginning. I've thought a lot this week about what I want the next year to bring and I've camped on the word clarity. There is a lot of uncertainty in my life right now, in many areas. Clarity in all of them would be wonderful but that's no longer the clarity I'm aiming for. This next year I want more clarity in who God is, more clarity in how He sees me. This next year I want more clarity in God's plans so that when trouble comes I will not waiver and even in the moments of tear stained eyes I will say God is good.

John 16:33 Jesus says, "Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcame the world." When these words were spoken He'd yet to die and rise again so in reality He hadn't overcame the world, but He knew without any doubt He would therefore He said I HAVE overcame the world.

As this year comes to an end and we go into 2011 with anticipation of what's to come remember His words, trials and sorrows WILL come...but as long as we keep Christ at the center of our life, as long as we cling to the cross and what it stands for, we will not be overtaken by the waves of uncertainty and fear of the unknown. For we have a savior who confidently says let me lead you, let me show you, let me love you for I HAVE OVERCAME THE WORLD.