Clarity through endurance

"I will not quit" that's a phrase I said many times in 2011, actually I've shouted it, I've whispered it, I've wrote it, and I've felt it in my heart as I cried uncontrollably. I. Will. Not. Quit.

Endurance is a word I learned as a little girl, playing the Indian game with my grandma as she would say "Endure, Carla, endure." Endurance is a word that I've stood on this year though I didn't understand why until recently. Romans 5:3-5 says "We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love."

I know God loves me. I know I am saved through Jesus. I do. But if I'm to be totally honest there are times that someplace inside me I still doubt. It's like my brain (my knowledge) and my heart (my belief) don't connect. And this year my faith was challenged in deep ways and it seems as if the waves just keep coming, I barely catch my breath. How often do we say "man I can't catch a break?" or "I have a black cloud over me"? How often do we feel others are getting "blessings" and we're getting nothing? Read Romans again. Read and read and read until it sinks in...

Trials produce endurance (don't quit) and endurance leads to stronger character (don't we all want to have more noble character?) and that all leads to confidence in our salvation (yes He REALLY does love even me and you)...all this is wrapped in God's love. Trials lead to a stronger understanding of God's love....bet you haven't looked at it like that before! I sure hadn't.

So, today, on this last day of 2011 pause and look back at the year and all the ups and downs you've been through...can you see God crying out to you? Can you see God whispering "I love you, don't quit"? Can you see how getting through the trial led to stronger character and stronger faith? I can and I'm so thankful I didn't quit.