Romans 12:12

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer (Romans 12:12).

It seems that when I have a lot of good things going on, there's always gotta be that bad thing that creeps in. My bad thing has been around for weeks now, looming in the background, whispering just loud enough I don't forget it is there. And then suddenly it takes center stage and my focus shifts from all the good things to the one bad thing. My attitude changes from grateful to worry which then leads to anxiety, frustration, and tears. Then the whole thing finally breaks, I work through the moment, and the elephant is removed from my chest. My focus comes back and I suddenly find myself saying what was that!?

THAT was not remembering Romans 12:12. That's exactly what that was. Last night I did a lot of journaling and kept asking God to please show me what to do, how to feel, where to step. I woke with Him reminding me that He already has done that. This morning I came across Romans 12:12 and it hit me squarely....these three things I don't do well or regularly. I can break each down and say oh I do that...but not like I should. I talk to God often, but prayer in its true form (which is for another writing) I don't do often. I am joyful in hope but not through every single circumstance. And I'm certainly not patient in affliction, the last few weeks are proof of that.

Each time something not so fun comes across my path, it's a test of Romans 12:12. A test to see if my heart and my words really do match. I long to be more godly yet when I'm tested I am often more Carla. So maybe instead of lamenting when the bad comes, when the test begins I should pause and remember why I'm being tested. Afterall, I'm the one that prayed "God use me", I'm the one that prayed "make me more like You", I'm the one that prayed "help me remain focused on You in all circumstances". Yes those are truly my hearts desire so those are the areas I will be tested in. Each test, regardless of passing or not, brings me closer to God. Each test shines light into my world and helps me see more clearly.

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer (Romans 12:12).