Pray for me...

When I was a little girl my mom and I lived with my grandparents while my mom finished college. One night I didn't feel well and I remember my grandma and grandpa coming in my room and laying hands on me and beginning to pray for me asking Jesus to heal me. That moment is forever burned in my brain...the feeling of love and devotion was amazing! So of course I wanted it again and therefore would pretend to be sick so they would lay hands on me and pray again! :) Growing up I never forgot what it felt like to have hands laid on you by those who love you and go on your behalf seeking God. When I was in 8th grade my grandpa died and that set me on a path of not speaking to God anymore for nearly 14 years. You see, my grandpa was a minister. He was the best person to ever cross my path and I could not understand how God could take the life of a man so devoted to living for Him. Over the course of the next several years my family would, at different times, tell me they are praying for me for various reasons. Inside my response was always the same...pray for yourself. I didn't want anything to do with prayer. I didn't want to feel that feeling from when I was a young child ever again.

I am starting a recovery ministry at my church which qualifies me as staff at the church. Yesterday was staff meeting and we did something that caused me to remember being that little girl from so long ago, and it also caused me to remember why my grandpa loved God so passionately. We took turns laying hands on each staff member and praying for their ministry. It was powerful. Moving. Loving. When it came my turn I stood in the middle of all these people that I know love me, accept me for who I am and who I long to be, and people that I would absolutely fight for. One by one they laid their hands on me and began to pray for me and this adventure God has called me to. I was, for a brief moment, that little girl all over again.

Many times over the last 5 years I have called upon various people simply saying "please pray for me". I understand the power of prayer now. I understand the power of being covered by the blood of the Creator. And I understand the power of being loved by those who are walking in this journey with you. God waited on me, patiently whispering my name all those years I refused to turn my face to Him. Not once did He turn His face away. Not once. I know the things I have said to Him. I know the feelings I had towards Him the morning I woke up to the sounds of my mom crying because my grandpa died. I know the devotion I have towards Him this very minute and I can say with no hesitation that when I pray He listens, when I cry He cries, and when I seek I ALWAYS find Him.

I am amazed that God wants anything to do with me. I am more amazed that He seems to think I'm good enough for Him to work through. Yet today, I received an email from a dear friend asking me to pray for her. Me! I couldn't help but smile remembering all those times I didn't want anything to do with prayer and now someone is asking me to go before God on their behalf. Funny how things come full circle...

till next time, oh and please pray for me...